Well, either you have been living under a rock, or you’re extremely good at avoiding spoilers until now… Rest in Peace, Hodor, along with yet another direwolf, Summer. The Three-Eyed Raven also passed, as did several Children of the forest, including Leaf. A White Walker and lots of Wights also re-died(?), but not nearly enough of them.
Most Impressive Death?
HOLD THE DOOR. We will never forget….
A cock with warts (people really loooved that close-up) and some tits without warts in the actors’ dressing area. So still not entirely equal on the nudity front yet. One STD-ridden penis does not make up for the plethora of breasts on show during the course of the series. Have a word with yourselves, Dan & Dave!
Quote of the Week
Wylis: Hold the door! Hold the door!… Hold door!… Hodor!
All Hail Queen Sansa!
Marieke: Sansa is not the little princess-I-want-to-marry-a-king Sansa we knew before. This was fierce Sansa calling out Lord Sleazy, I mean Baelish, on marrying her off to Ramsay. Of course Petyr knew, he is not that much of an idiot, is he? He genuinely seemed to be sorry and Sansa gave him a hard time, not allowing him to get away with his lies. The only thing she did not do was tell Brienne to actually kill him, it was only a threat. I am all for this new Queen Sansa and I want her to rule the North. I do think that Littlefinger told one last lie about the Blackfish. It didn’t seem genuine to me. Maybe he is setting her up for a trap so he and his army can rescue her? Because that is sleazy enough for him to do.
It is telling though that Sansa is not keen on recounting the rest of her encounter with Littlefinger. Brienne knows and she will keep check. Right? RIGHT? I am afraid the little lie will come back to bite her on the arse, even though Littlefinger gets away with f*cking EVERYTHING. I also loved the plotting at the table, seeing the differences between Davos and Sansa/Jon, even though in The Onion Knight’s eyes things are not that different. Tormund is still sighing over and eye-sexing Brienne, who is getting very uncomfortable now. Come on Tormund, be a man, seduce her properly and let her know wildlings treat women equally. Just have a lovely fight together. Nothing bonds a couple as much as cutting off some heads together.
Danielle: Contrary to what Marieke thinks about Littlefinger, I do think he completely underestimated Ramsay, even if he did marry her off for his own purposes in the first place. Hell Roose, his own father, underestimated the little psychopath. His remorse seemed genuine too. I’ve always thought that he sees Sansa as a replacement for her Mother, Catelyn, and therefore he has a blind spot as far as she’s concerned, which is something that could very well work to her advantage in the long run. How hilarious would it be if she pushes Robin through the Moon Door and then blames Baelish for it, all the while shrugging her shoulders and discreetly telling him he taught her everything she knows as she takes control of The Vale as well as Winterfell? I doubt Yohn Royce would be rushing to defend him. This is why I think it was so smart for her not to give in to her anger and have him killed by Brienne there and then. Whether she likes it or not, his/her cousin’s army is probably going to come in handy in the battle against the Boltons.
It’s little wonder that she chose not to tell Jon about her meeting with him as well. She’d either be rail-roaded into accepting his support by Davos and Melisandre, or else her ‘half brother’ would probably have tracked Littlefinger down and killed him for what he did to her. It pays to keep her cards close to her chest while they gauge the level of support they still have amongst the other Northern families who haven’t pledged their loyalty to the Boltons for now. That shocked glance by Jon when he heard her declare that she had the Stark name, even if he didn’t, did worry me a little though. Please don’t let there be any animosity there now that they’ve finally reunited. I really want the gift that Sansa gave to him to not be a means of pacifying him, but who knows? Also, I don’t think Our Lord of the Wandering Accent was lying about the Blackfish taking back Riverrun either. It makes sense that would be his aim after escaping The Red Wedding, and I’ve seen footage in trailers of the Lannister army having battle camps set up, which again, would make sense seen as they would have been the ones in control of the place after the Freys and the Boltons did their dirty work for them. In light of that, we may well be in for a Jaime/Brienne reunion, which could be super entertaining after Tormund making puppy eyes at her. Lastly, it was duly noted that Jon didn’t leave Longclaw with Edd before he left Castle Black to rally troops. Oh God! They may as well be completely unarmed against the White Walkers.
Euron Your Own!
Marieke: Euron not only claims to have a big dick, he is a big dick. I cannot even imagine that Dany would be impressed by him. I loved Theon’s speech in favour of his sister. Being the character that has changed the most, Alfie Allen’s performance seems underrated at times. Theon is not old Theon, nor is he Reek. He is his sister’s brother and he will defend her until the end. Did anyone else feel the crowning of the Salt King is a bit… ehh.. Darwinistic in a sense? If the new King drowns he might not be suited to be King, but it is not an easy election to get through… But it was extensive enough for Yara and Theon to float off with all the ships. Here’s hoping they steal Euron’s plan and visit Dany. I would think they would get further with honesty than Euron would with his dick. Also, the Iron Islands really do not have any trees do they? So about building those new ships… As much of a breeze as the King’s coronation. Those Ironborn don’t do easy, huh?
Danielle: As arrogant a prick as Euron undoubtedly is, I like his crazy exuberance and Pilou Asbæk is a fabulous addition to the cast, not least of all because he looks astonishingly like Alfie Allen, his on-screen nephew. Whoever’s decision it was to bring him in deserves a pat on the back. I can’t imagine Dany taking kindly to his advances either, although strategically, making use of his ships would be sensible. (Note the parallel to Sansa’s situation with Littlefinger). Like Marieke, however, I really hope Yara and Theon get to Meereen first. How awesome would that combo be? Also her little brother wouldn’t feel out of place any more if he was surrounded by Varys and The Unsullied. Women and Eunuchs are valued by the Mother of Dragons.
Fifty Shades of Greyscale
Marieke: Ah there it was. And it didn’t feel like it was there, but it was. Jorah confessed to loving his khaleesi. SURPRISE. Oh no, wait! Tyrion was right, and it was also obvious from the start. I hope it is not a coincidence Jon and Sansa talked about the Mormonts up North. Even though there are red priestesses in Meereen and the surrounding area, I want Jorah to go home and find Melisandre. She should be the one to help him out, and then I do want him to return to his Khaleesi. Yes, it is cheesy, he could still go stone berserk, but another nice reunion scene would help our feels a lot.
Danielle: Ever since he caught the greyscale in the ruins of Old Valyria, I’ve been convinced that Jorah was going to go down in a blaze of glory saving his Khaleesi. Now, after his self-imposed banishment and her commanding him to find a cure, I’m not entirely sure. After all, Stannis did manage to find someone to stop the spread of the disease in Shireen years before he foolhardily had her burnt at the stake to improve his chances against the Bolton armies. It’ll be interesting to see where he heads next, and who else’s storyline he latches onto in pursuit of doing his Queen’s bidding. If not one of the Red Priests or Priestesses, perhaps he’ll head to the Citadel where the Maesters are based and bump into Sam? What a scene where he finally admitted he loved Dany and she reciprocated though! Iain Glen and Emilia Clarke were great throughout, and I loved Daario’s confused look in the background. For once, he felt like the spare wheel.
The Voice in the Flames
Marieke: In the meantime Tyrion and Varys talk to a red priestess, Kinvara, to get her on board. The difference between their approaches says a lot. Varys is wary of the blood magic the red priestess is able to use, thinking back to the day he was cut. Tyrion just thinks they need all the help they can get. It made me think, ever since Varys left King’s Landing, the Faith were able to take over. Maybe his anti-magic/religion ideals helped to keep the Faith at bay for so long? He did have a seat on the Small Council.
Danielle: Kinvara’s an interesting new addition, isn’t she? Does the fact she’s the High Priestess in Volantis mean she’s technically Melisandre’s boss, in spite of the fact they hail from different places? Again, interesting. I do think Tyrion may have some problems keeping the followers of the Red God in check in the same way that Cersei’s power play with the High Sparrow against the Tyrells completely backfired. Hopefully, his comparative ability to stay level-headed will work in his favour though. I’m dying to know who/what it was that was speaking to Varys from the flames when he was younger, and what it/he/she was saying. It’s got to be important. Also, I’ve always liked the idea that Varys is a secret Targaryen/Blackfyre, which would explain why his ‘parts’ specifically were thrown in the fire, in the same way that Melisandre leeched the hell out of Gendry because of his King’s blood. Furthermore, it’s a great explanation as to why he shaves his head, because the silvery-blonde hair would be a dead give-away about his ancestry and, perhaps most importantly, it’s a damn good reason for him to be so supportive of Dany’s claim to the Iron Throne.
A Girl is Still Someone?
Marieke: The play Arya had to witness was a tad too long for my liking. Nevertheless, it did give an interesting insight into how the people of Braavos perceive the events that happened in King’s Landing. I doubt Arya can truly become No-one, as this test was a hard one to bear. She also learned of her sister Sansa’s wedding to Tyrion (in hindsight, not the worst husband or man to be around. Ramsay, Littlefinger… Brr..). Can she truly stop being a Stark? Also she is still quite black and white in her thoughts about justice. Her list was always about righteous revenge in her eyes. The kill she is tasked to do is paid for and ordered out of jealousy, not something Arya could easily go along with. The Many-Faced god storyline is starting to bore me, and I hope we will find out soon if Arya will truly become No-one, or if she somehow manages to leave unscathed and fulfil her list. I’d suggest she go to the North.
Danielle: Just as we saw with Bran when he witnessed first hand what really happened in the fight between his Father and Arthur Dayne, once again we saw the difference between actual events in the past and the way they’ve been retold in the present during the play Arya witnessed. Going forward, that seems incredibly important for the bigger picture. How awful must it have been for her to re-live that moment when Ned was beheaded though? Especially as back then she was forced to look away. Much like Sansa, she’s now not one to shy away from the brutality of the World she lives in. I’m totally with Marieke on her never becoming No-one, however. The Stark genes are too ingrained in her, along with her family’s sense of fairness and justice. It seems like we’re heading for a showdown with The Waif as well, so I’m guessing it’s Faye Marsay’s character’s face that’ll be on display in the Hall of Faces by the end of the season. I’m not too upset at the prospect. She’s like that bully at school who just wouldn’t leave you alone.
It was also interesting that we got some insight into how the Faceless Men were created by former slaves, which according to The Waif, is another reason why Arya, with her noble background, can never be one of them. There seems to be a parallel with the Faith Militant here, in that the sheer numbers and anonymity of the poor are weaponized against their enemies. Of course, by implication, the huge numbers of the dead turned into wights by the Night’s King can be seen as a mirror of these two groups, but on steroids, i.e. brutally single-minded and self-serving.
Hold the Door, Hodor!
Marieke: HOLD THE DOOR. Three more words etched in our minds forever. Could Hodor’s life have been more tragic? The gentle but simple giant has lived for this moment. A little timey-wimey Bran managed to warg and greensee (looking into the past) at the same time, causing young Wylis to go into a meltdown. Hearing Meera shout HOLD THE DOOR gave Wylis his orders forever. It was tragic and heartbreaking and, yes, Bran should not have gone back into the past on his own. Him seeing the Night’s King featured heavily in the promotional campaign, yet seeing the scene entirely played out gave me chills. The moment the wights all looked at him… It was a death sentence for Summer, The three-eyed raven, numerous Children of the forest and Hodor.
Speaking of the Children, we also find out they actually created the White Walkers to defend themselves against the First Men. Quite the experiment gone wrong! Bran is marked now and we will have to see how far Meera can drag him. There is no doubt Bran is incredibly important to the story. Sadly, we have not seen the rest of the Tower of Joy flashback and I hope they won’t keep it up in the air for too long, but Bran will need a lot of training and a safe place to actually get there without the excellent Max von Sydow, one of the many casualties in this episode. Hodor though. The show has (rightly so) received a lot of criticism in how it deals with certain things, particularly women and rape. Some deaths were already written about in the books, but this one was a heartbreaker for everyone. Hold the door. Game of Thrones still has it; shock, bravery, tear in the eye moments all at once. My heart was racing during the chase by the wights. I did not see it coming at all. And the internet had a breakdown. Hold the door… Hold the door… Hold door… Hodor… Rest in peace you big giant. And please don’t come back as a wight…
Danielle: My little heart is broken for that big guy. No wonder he lost his ability to speak properly after seeing his own demise years before it was due to happen. This death really hurt because, with the odd, possible exception, he was the only true innocent left in the show. I was on the edge of my seat watching the scene in the tunnel too. Major props to everybody who made that look as good as it did. The CGI was incredible. Also brownie points for including an example of the ‘bootstrap paradox’ that was so harrowing, although from what I can gather, it was serial character mass murderer, George R.R. Martin’s idea all along. *sighs* So many of the other deaths were symbolic too. The Three-Eyed Raven’s murder at the hands of the Night’s King was a figurative handing down of the mantel to a new generation, which has already been a major theme this year. Leaf’s suicide mission was recompense for her Frankenstein-esque creation of the White Walkers (I wonder if this’ll be repeated with Qyburn and ZombieMountain), and Summer’s death represented the true arrival of Winter. I have no idea how things are going to pan out for Bran and Meera, but the fact the White Walkers were able to enter the cave doesn’t bode well for the viability of the Wall, or the longevity of the remaining members of the Night’s Watch. Now that Bran is marked, Edd et al are sitting ducks when he inevitably decides to head South.
Our Fezzy Score:
So what did you think to the episode? Let us know in the comments…